Oh, My Goddess

by Jeni Harvie
The Sydney Morning Herald, May 2004

A new boot camp teaches women how to take time out and tap into their inner deity.

Editorial

The drums are beating, the chant is lifting, becoming louder, more intense. I feel a thrill of excitement, an affinity with the other women beating out the rhythm, willing ourselves to believe our pulsating mantra.

I am in retreat - from my family, my friends, my work, everything that normally defines who I am. It's called a Boot Camp for Goddesses and there are 12 women striving to achieve this elevated status by "taking charge of our health and wellbeing through yoga, fitness and holistic medicine".

The research is growing about the benefits of taking time out, eating well and exercising, particularly as stress-related health problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease increasingly emerge among women.

I am here to test the "time out" theory. I am not sure what to expect and confess to being a bit sceptical, particularly when we are instructed to look deep into the eyes of a partner within half an hour of meeting. We are told the eyes are the window of the soul and I am wondering what I am supposed to see when my partner's eyes fill with tears. I know then this is going to be an emotional journey.

Everyone has a story and very soon some of the most intimate and compelling details of our lives emerge: Caterina lost her full-term baby son last year, Karen died in childbirth but was brought back to life, Mayriel's husband was killed three years ago in a break and enter in Bali, Angela is an executive desperate to escape the demands of corporate life. It is a powerful start to our three-day camp.

We are gathered at the Bamarang Bush Retreat near Nowra in NSW, an eclectic collection of mud-brick and timber bungalows overlooking the Shoalhaven River.

Sierra Bender leads us in our quest to become goddesses. She has been running the boot camps in America for the past five years. She shares her own story, beginning as a fitness trainer until, at 33, she suffered an ectopic pregnancy, and was revived after dying for 10 minutes. This triggered a journey to India to gain a deeper understanding about life and death and there she discovered her mission: to teach women how to tap into the goddess within.

"This camp is about women taking time out to nurture and replenish, and we do this by tapping into the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual side of ourselves."

The camp includes yoga, meditation, hiking, belly dancing, aromatherapy and healing sessions. "It is multifaceted," Bender says. "We go from hugging trees to playing like little girls."

Bender is assisted by Mariam Massaro, a herbalist, and Anna Maria Estrada, a body talk healer. One of Massaro's specialties is the Native American sweat lodge, which is similar to a sauna but built outside (traditionally from willow but our graceful gums bend to the task) and covered in blankets and tarpaulins. Rocks heated in a nearby fireplace are delivered inside the dome-like structure, sprinkled with healing herbs and doused with water, creating a thick, oppressive atmosphere.

Massaro describes the lodge as a womb which allows the cleansing, healing and rebirth of our souls. The goddesses go meekly into its murky depths, only to emerge three hours later caked in sweat and dirt. Throughout the ordeal we chant, remember our ancestors, seek healing for others and give thanks to mothers, fathers and friends. It gets a bit soft and fuzzy and when I state my love of Matchbox cars as part of my childhood memories there is a stunned silence, but we quickly move on and continue to commune with our inner selves. In the end, just to have survived the lodge was empowering.

Throughout the weekend, women disappear into quiet rooms where Estrada performs her body talk healing. My turn comes a few hours before the camp closes on Sunday and the experience is profound and disturbing, but also restorative.

Dr Lisa MacDonald is also on hand to talk about health issues from menopause to constipation, from fertility to diet, with an emphasis on natural remedies.

Naturally, the camp is tobacco-, alcohol- and caffeine-free and the food is vegetarian - and very good.

It is the first time the Boot Camp for Goddesses has been run in Australia. It was brought here by Leslie Embersits, who set up a company called Nurture Works last year to help people manage their health. She attended the American version of boot camp last year in Massachusetts.

Embersits describes the experience as a "mind shift". "It has allowed me to have a more spiritual, intuitive life; I can feel the creative energy returning." She decided other women she knew would benefit from the experience, and set about bringing the boot camps to Australia.

And the health professionals support her mission. "A lot of it is to do with getting things balanced," says Dr Karen Coates. "Unfortunately, in our frenetic lifestyle getting that balance will often mean having to work hard at slotting time in for you and that [me-time] is usually the first thing to go in a busy life.

"But time for yourself is vital. Women always put themselves last and if they fall apart at the seams the whole family will go down. We have to teach women to be a bit more self-centred, so they have the strength to provide the support their family needs.

"I tell women how important it is to keep their bodies tuned, conditioned and driven the way nature meant them to be driven and the price they pay if they don't. It means taking responsibility for yourself, doing something once or twice a week just for you that is stress free."

Coates also advocates exercise, even if it is just accidental exercise. "Get back to gardening, park the car a kilometre away from the shops and force yourself to do weight-training with groceries as you are walking back to the car.

"Don't bother joining a gym because most women will pay for it, go once and that will be it. Exercise has to be achievable and realistic, even if it is walking for 10 minutes from your front door, turning around and walking back. If you do this three times a week it will make a difference to your longevity and health."

Denele Crozier, the executive officer of Women's Health NSW, says it is essential for women to make time for themselves. "I call it women's business and women's space," she says. "This should be recognised as an essential part of any healthy community. There is something very healing when women are able to focus on themselves and relax. We live in a society that has very clearly defined roles and for women to get a break from that they need some access to women's only space."

Psychologist Evelyn Field agrees: "You certainly relax more with your own kind. You don't have to wear make-up, don't worry about presentation, you can be a bit more honest and speak the same female language 'I got my period yesterday, I have a zit today'.

"But I really think women have been sold a dud. The feminist revolution was great - claiming you can climb to the top of the tree, have your family and career, do it all but most women find it very difficult. Women become so bogged down with being the wonderful, obliging provider that they lose all sense of themselves.

"They have to be taught how to balance their lives between what is right for themselves and what is right for the important people around them. It's about having time to look after themselves physically and nourish themselves mentally and spiritually, to look after their emotions so that their body can be fully productive. It's also about taking time to do things that are invigorating."

Field classifies "invigorating" activities. "It might be something as simple as having your nails done or having a coffee with a friend," she says. "The middle level is going to lunch in the country or a weekend away while a health retreat is the top end of the scale.

And this is where we goddesses are at. Bender's aim is to give women the tools within to live their lives.

"After being here women can't go back to how they were before," she says. "They have tapped into their essence and they don't forget."

At the end of the weekend, my fellow goddesses are reluctant to leave Bamarang. Their faces are alive and passionate. Everyone is taking away something different, but for all of us it has been an awakening. We are more aware of ourselves and our power and we are ready to go out into the world and stake our ground.